This post was originally written in Italian by Paolo Gambardella. It has been translated by an AI agent and may contain inaccuracies.
Se lavori a lungo per la stessa azienda, c’è sempre un gruppo di persone che si lamenta molto. Del prodotto, delle scadenze, dei capi, degli altri team. La cosa che mi snerva di più è che, di solito, non si raggiunge nessun obiettivo. La lamentela occupa il posto dove potrebbe stare il lavoro.
Complaining can serve a purpose: there’s a real problem, you name it, you try to fix it. When someone vents, there are three things they might be looking for:
- to be heard,
- to be comforted,
- to be helped.
Listening and comforting do little to actually reduce stress, whereas offering a solution or a different way of looking at things makes a real difference. If a complaint doesn’t lead anywhere, it’s usually just noise.
The uncomfortable side of building
In games we see this all the time:
- An unfair boss should be flagged and, if possible, fixed.
- A hard boss kills you, makes it clear why, and lets you try again within three seconds.
Healthy frustration points you towards mastery. Complaining is like sitting on the game over screen telling everyone who walks past how terrible the boss was.
Building has an uncomfortable side too. It can become an excuse to feel superior, and some processes are genuinely broken — in those cases, calling things out is already part of the work. Between a company where things can be changed and one where nothing ever changes, you can tell them apart by how people react when someone puts forward a proposal.
Before you slag something off
My rule, in the end, is simple. If I see a problem, I propose something. If I can, I do something. If after proposing and doing I still see things aren’t working, I leave. Staying somewhere that won’t change while I complain about it is the third option, and it’s the one I want to avoid. It’s happened, but with age and kids it gets harder and harder to go down that road.
Before you slag something off — who could actually change it? If the answer isn’t the person in front of you, that conversation is probably best left alone.